Keep it Swedish

Staying neutral in a controversial issue, just like Sweden. Therefore you can’t get hate from either party or get canceled.

Gun control is so controversial, so I’m gonna keep it Swedish with how I feel on it.

Swedish torch

When one applies a smudge of vicks vaporub to the tip of ones penis (or equivalent) and then proceeds to have sex with ones unsuspecting partner. After a while, the partner starts to burn from the inside - just like a swedish torch!

I filed for divorce after John Doe gave me a swedish torch during make-up sex

Swedish scammer

Same as indian scammers but they do something else. They say for example Gongrats you won scams that you open presents. And when you tap on one of these it comes up a porn image.

Denis: Oh no a swedish scammer! I can not remove the virus!
Scammer: Hahahahaha

swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

Swedish McMuffin

A sex position where surstromming is smeared in between one persons butt checks and the other person proceeds to eat it out of their ass.

Sean: 'What am I gonna do with all this surstromming, it's about to go off.'
Jake: 'Why don't we do a Swedish McMuffin?'
Sean: 'Ooooh yeah, Let's go.'

swedish guy but actually danish

Stupid swedish people who are actually danish people like Strebz

Strebz is such a swedish guy but actually danish

swedish raincoat

Two uncircumcised gentlemen go cap to cap and foreskins are joined by clear adhesive tape. A third gentleman is then called upon urinate on the joined penis executing a golden shower downpour on the tightly sealed package. Meanwhile, the two joined men jerk one anther off vigorously while basking in the warm steady stream of hot urine. Their respective members stay safe and dry from the "Swedish raincoat" that they have created.

Thank god for that sweet Swedish raincoat we made last night, I just heard that fancy peters golden shower was tainted with the herpes. That yellow acid rain would have destroyed our Weiner's if it weren't for that tight Swedish raincoat.