Random
Source Code
Random
Passing the office birthday card to the next person and forcing them to figure out who is the next to sign.
I got stuck near the end of the line in the card tag for Holly's birthday. Tag, you are it!
When a woman in a relationship or marriage doesn’t wanna leave the man in whatever terms and says she’s pregnant to have the man stay.
Justin: Rachel, I can’t deal with you not getting a job, you’re living with me for free, after all I helped for you to get out of the toxic family you once were in… it’s like you’re bringing it to me… I think we should separate since you complain and do drugs and shit, it’s not the energy I want…
Rachel: Honey, I’m pregnant…
Justin: BULLSHIT!!!! You’re trying to pull the pregnant card, huh?
Similar to the losing your V-Card after your first time having sex, you can lose your D-Card after your first time getting your dick sucked.
Bro did you hear about how Tobi lost his D-Card on Wednesday?
When one person has sex with another double their age.
Mark (age 24) has sex with Mary (age 48). Mark has now earned his boiler card.
A dialectic counterattack, primarily used by females when arguing with their male counterparts, in which some or all statements previously made in the conversation are retroactively labeled "feelings". This Jiu-Jitsu inspired verbal maneuver thus renders all valid points and rebuttals made by the victim moot, nay less than moot, in fact all those rebuttals have now been turned into an unprompted offensive attack. And in argument, it is the attacker who "loses" the match.
Mark: So my girl told me that I was asshole because I forgot our first anniversary yesterday. I pulled out the concert ticket from our first date which proved our anniversary is next week and said she was being rude. Then she pulled the feelings card on me, she said that regardless of when our anniversary really is, she still felt forgotten and felt like i was an asshole, and now i was a double asshole for calling her rude and stomping on her when she was already hurt. FML!
Something that Mexicans try really hard to get or steal.
Julio: ANTONIO!! I finally got a green card!! Now I can legally cross the border!!
Antonio: There's one bad thing...
Julio: What?
Antonio: A cop was standing right next to me, and we already crossed the border.
Julio: OH SHIT!!
24👍 37👎