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The Urban Clown (U.C.) is the evil twin of the circus clown. They share physical attributes but differ in behavior. Like circus clowns they wear over-sized, baggy and loud clothing. Instead of white foundation, the U.C. prefers dark colors and facial tattoos. Traditional clowns wear humorous wigs such as bald caps and colored hair. The U.C. prefers to be bald or if hair is present, the U.C. has shaved designs. The circus clown is known for a cone shaped hat while a U.C. utilizes a baseball cap that is never worn the way as intended. An optional head apparel is the “do-rag”that is reminiscent of that of a food service worker. Some prefer a cowl or hood which has no parallel in circus clown culture.
Instead of horns for comic effect, the U.C. clown carries a gun (or "gat") to intimidate and make poor decisions that typically end in incarceration. In lieu of a seltzer water bottle the U.C. carries a 40oz beer to numb their shame of inner and social ignorance.
The U.C. emulates the circus clown with self loathing and public humiliation in hope of seeking the acceptance of others. The U.C. is typically inept, uneducated (by choice) & a coward who’s is not equipped to solve problems with reasoning. Unlike the traditional clown, the U.C. is neither friendly nor approachable thus incapable of bringing joy to children (or sticking around to support and guide those they fathered). Contrary to the circus clown, laughing at their attire or behavior can lead to serious injury and death.
“Dude, stop staring at the urban clown, he is liable to kill us.”
“You urban clowns need to get the fuck outta here, or I’m calling the cops!”
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"I stuck my head in and caught him clobberin his clown."
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Those unreachable and not understandable people your company hires to perform mission critical systems supoort in a location so far away it would take a hot air baloon and 40 days to get there.
I called tech support three times today and kept getting the same support clown. Every time I did what he asked I could swear I heard a horn honking and wind whistle.
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Windshield Clown: in most cases an unskilled or un-certified glass technician. Most windshield clowns can be spotted when they lift the wiper blades up and then ‘’stuff’’ the windshield under the cowl instead of correctly removing the wiper blades and cowl and then installing the glass. A Windshield Clown's only concern is doing the replacement as quickly as possible negating customer safety with an improperly installed windshield. Windshield Clown's also like to use colorful tapes to tape the windshield in place. Use of correct adhesives require no tape to remain on the vehicle.
I see you have blue tape all over the edges of your windshield. You must have had a visit from a Windshield Clown.
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When you get done fucking your GF and find out shes on the rag becasue your pubic hair is bright red like the wig on a clown.
OH shit, that time of the month again huh Karen... I got CLOWN DICK again... My pubic hair's red..
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The act of rimming a girl who's having her period.
Dude, what's with the red nose? Working at a circus now?
No, I just got back from clown gaping your sister.
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To mess up badly. An unsuccessful attempt.
I'm at work and can't clown the rice on this new project.
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