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Someone who constantly wants clout and brags about having clout
“Yo stacey is a whole clout monkey”
The girl from the bar last night let me give her a monkey trumpet
When a woman is giving you a blow job and at the same time rubs both hands on each side off your penis in a twisting and twirling fashion.
I thought my cock was going to fall off after that Monkey Twirl I got last night.
A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?
Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.
Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.
Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!
Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
A person who is extremely gushy in the emotional sense.
Dawn: You are the best guy ever. I can't believe we are in this relationship. I've always wanted someone like you in my life.
Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.
A car monkey is when a female gives a man oral pleasure while driving in a car. She should topless and at least slightly buzzed. Verb
My wife got drunk as hell last night at the beach club, and hit me with a car monkey on the way home, that shit was hella good!
a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.
I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.
That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.