Random
Source Code
Random
A vibe that consists of a kinda grunge kinda emo feel but not too much; Borderline emo
“Did you see that girl’s outfit? With the black hoodie and checked shoes?”
“Yeah man, it gave me ground condom vibes.”
When you run your computer using any malware protection such as anti virus and dont use any firewalls.
Peter: I ran my computer without a condom and it picked up some nasty stds(viruses).
Dan: Why dont you use anti virus?
Peter: Because it uses too much system resources and I can just format my computer anyways
When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
267👍 83👎
A decorative condom with images designed for comical effect. Can be flavored according to design.
Popular Images:
R2-D2
Wii Remote
Duff Beer Bottle
Duff Beer Can
Chipotle Burrito
Hot Dog (with bun)
Shotgun (for Pump-Action)
Baseball Bat
Banana
Carrot
A Larger Man's Penis
Beer_Baron and Explicit_D used their Dick-Skin condoms on Chad during the recording of 2 Chimps on a Davenport.
26👍 5👎
An off brand, damaged, or expired condom that you would not feel safe using for sex but could still be used to jerk off into.
Man: Did you bang Amie last night or what, dude?
Dude: Hell yeah, I tore that pussy up. I was all out of condoms though so I had to grab one from your drawer.
Man: Shit, you'd better buy that slut some plan B and get your dick tested...the only thing in that drawer were jerk off condoms.
22👍 4👎
Joke about children's attitude towards sex and lack of practical knowledge or reading skills.
Kid A: There's a condom behind that bookshelf.
Kid B: What's a bookshelf?
51👍 13👎
A risky (but kinky) activity with the male wearing two condoms with hot sauce in between them. A successful act is when it doesn’t break, but when one breaks, either the hot sauce leaks into the woman, or the man causing horrible pain but also the excitement of risk.
Marv prepared the hot sauce condom and went to fucking Lucy. They were into kinky stuff, so the hot sauce condom was a regular thing. Marv thrusted Lucy hard, over and over. UHHH! HARDER! HARDERRRR! YESSS! Marv gave it all he got until the condom broke on his end. He didn’t feel it at first, but when he felt pain, he knew something was wrong. He was about to orgasm when he pulled out. He yelled in pain. “Ow, my dick!” He rushed to the bathroom to wash off the hot sauce. It burned his dick and he clutched it in pain. Then the blue balls syndrome hit him. His balls dragged across the carpet as he attempted to crawl away.
21👍 5👎