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Canada’s History is a bold and unsurpassed when it comes to upholding dignity and honour. During Canadas infancy the newly joined colonies of the United States attempted a takeover of what was then Upper Canada. Canada brought an end to the temper tantrum of its spoiled infantile brother to the south, by lighting a match and setting the American white house ablaze, while stating “Don’t Tread On Me....Bitch!"
Not to be confused with the deviant sexual act “Canada’s History” performed south of the Canadian border, which includes the use of Hockey sticks dipped in Maple syrup, moose antlers and the unwilling participation of an American Bald Eagle. It has been said that this sexual act was made popular by the famous television personality known as Stephen Colbert. Pronounced (Coal-Bert) provided you’re not an effeminate male from the Carolinas.
When you look at Canada’s History with the United States you can easily understand why participants of this sexual act would name the act “Canada’s History” Given the royal ass beating they recieved from Upper Canada.
Said the American Bald Eagle, "Canada's History?, My ass!"
To which Colbert feverishly replied, " Exactly!!"
Not to be outdone the moose chimed in "SUCK IT STEPHEN!"
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A "Canada's History" is a slang term in the American English language used to describe an act of a sexual nature which is regarded by many to be one of the most vile sexual acts in the history of sexydom. To "Canada's History" someone, one must first acquire a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher must then be carefully inserted in to an acceptable orifice of a clown using applicable lubricants. The clown must then be carefully lowered in to the major orifice of a large mammalian animal of adequate scale. Any mammal will do, but it must be a warm-blooded animal at the very least or else the clown will run the risk of hypothermia. This act, when successfully completed, is not unlike a turducken of the culinary world, but should never be confused with "blowing up a turd locker," which is a much different act all together, if not similar in execution.
That clown got the Canada's History all the way in to the bowels of that walrus!
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Last night, Ann Coulter took the Canada's History all the way (fictional Ann Coulter).
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Verb
1. Inserting your penis and scrotal sack into a woman or man's anus while gargling maple syrup. Meanwhile using your right hand to masturbate your partner and your left hand to pleasure your anus with moose antlers
Dude: Look's like you had a rough night brah
Other Dude: Man you got no idea, someone gave me Canada's History last night, the whole enchilada.
Dude: Sounds boring brah
Other Dude: -_-
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A depraved sex act. Favored by Stephen Colbert.
Putting everything in there is the hardest part of performing Canada's History.
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The act of stabbing a grandma and fucking a horse. The grandma part is foreplay.
Yo, last night I was involved in an hour long hands-on lecture on Canada's history. Awesome?
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A sexual act. Canada is referred to as "America's Fuzzy Hat." You give your girlfriend a "fuzzy hat" by having ten of your friends masturbate on her hair, and then you "smuggle drugs back across the border" by having anal sex with her, and then drugging her with morphine. You finish the act by putting a Canadian and an American dollar in her anus and leaving it there.
Dude, I totally did Canada's History with my girlfriend last night. It was wild.
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A sex act in which a jug of maple syrup is inserted into the woman's vagina and/or man's ass with the jug opening sticking out. The partner with the jug then squats over the other partner while maple syrup drips out, covering the other partner. The partner covered in syrup then fucks a beaver (if the woman is covered in syrup, a strap-on dildo is used). Then sticky, sweet, chaos ensues between the two and the beaver.
The apartment was a sticky wreck after the Canada's History from the night before. The dining room table was also missing one of its wooden legs.
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