Shit the bed

An expression used when an unfortunate occurance in one's life causes extreme agnst or annoyance.

When you are at the coast and your friend backs her car into a huge rock, you say: Ah, shit the bed!
Not enough beer at the party? Ah, shit the bed!

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Salt the Bed

Having intercourse on a friend's bed.

Hey bro! If you salt the bed you had better wash the bed sheets afterwards!

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Breakfast in Bed

The delicious scrambled eggs you wake up to after using egg whites as lube.

Following a passionate and well lubricated night, Tom was looking forward to having breakfast in bed.

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piss the bed

The incorrect way to say, "piss in the bed".
After all, you don't say, "piss the toilet" or, "piss the bottle"; you'd say, "piss IN the toilet" or, "piss IN the bottle".

{Mother} : Jimmy, no more Kool Aid tonight or else you might piss the bed.
{Jimmy}: Mommy, don't you mean I might piss in the bed?

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bed crumbs

Noun. Bread crumbs whose natural habitat is your girlfriend's cosy bed, rather than the bread bag, so as to annoy the hell out of the both of you.

Honey, there's something prickling me under the covers. Do you think it's another handful of your famous bed crumbs?

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breakfast in bed

When a girl is passed out from drinking and a guy starts jacking off in the morning, jumps on the bed, shakes it to wake the girl up, and skeets all over her face.

After getting shitfaced the night before, Mary was passed out from drinking. Jack decided to surprise her by serving some breakfast in bed.

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shit the bed

to actually poop in the sheets, especially when trying to gross out your girl with a large fart. Particularly disgusting habitbut in some countries it is considered normal behavior.

I was gonna fart and hold Shannon's head under the covers, but I shit the bed.

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