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The act of masturbating the day before a long vacation to avoid the urge to touch oneself in close proximity to friends and/or family members.
I've made our reservations, packed our bags, and had my precation masturbation session. I am totally ready for this trip!
When u jerk off and jump repeatedly while screaming "IM IN SPACEEE" before cumming all over the planets
Guy: dude i masturbated last night and it was one of those gravitational masturbation ones and I nutted all over the solar system
Dude: I nutted all over my neighbors roof last night and had to spend a day in prison
When you throw all your responsibilities out the window and just masturbate.
Damon didn't finish his project until the last minute because he was too busy with masturbation procrastination.
When you jerk off too much and your weak ass arm cannot handle the g-forces and either becomes numb or just fucking falls off your body.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Me: I have Masturbation Paralyzation.
Doctor: OH SHIT! Get him to the ER, we only have minutes to operate!
When you lack confidence and need some stroking to make it stronger, better
Ego masturbation is giving yourself praise when you actually suck so bad at it.
The act of resting your hands in your pants and holding your genitals or butt, usually absentmindedly. It is usually mildly pleasurable, but is not done to get off.
"Woah, why do you have your hand in your pants?"
"I was just bored and starting doing some lazy masturbation."
After the occurrence of a massive dry spell, one must partake in the holy masturbation which is the act of sitting in a confessional using holy water as lube as the priest blesses your act of satisfaction
Im sorry father for I have sinned I haven’t gotten laid in 4 years. I must partake in holy masturbation.