Master Wanker

It refers to a woman that has the inability to commit to crossfit classes and therefore decides to burn calories by means of masterbation or phoning a "friend". Characteristics of a Master Wanker are that she mysteriously disappears during lunch (a nooner) or early afternoon (afternoon delight) and reappears with a sneaky smile on their face.

After weeks and weeks of fooling herself the Master Wanker looks in the mirror and realizes that she is hot enough and decides to go back to being a normal wanker.

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Willy Wanker

A portmanteau of Willy Wonka and Wanker, used for someone who eats absurd amounts of chocolate

Person 1:*eats a whole bag of M&M’s*
Person 2:You willy wanker, stop eating so much, go touch some grass

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Bus wanker

Someone who travels on a bus

Look at that bus wanker

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cradle wanker

A pedophile. A derogatory term with a little more gusto.

"Fuck you, you fat, sick, fucking cradle wanker."

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Wanker

feck OFF U FUCKING ASSHOLE.....A LOSER WHO'S NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET OVER A FUCKING SLUT WHO slept with a fucking moron
THE DUMBASS WHO DRINKS milk on a pot and farts water
and asks girls if he stinks
AND THEN CALLS HIMSELF UNIQUE
THEN SAYS IT'S A "win win situation"
AS IF THAT'LL ADD FUCKING inches to your dick
AS if U really had one
THE DAY U MAKE A DAD WILL BE THE SORRIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE
BECAUSE then YOU'D KNOW U HAD A SORRY CHILDHOOD AND A fucked up youth

boy 1: hot damn *flap* *flap*

boy 2: wanker!

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Wankers Cramp

A very deadly disease that kills 99.9% of all gay men. Large amounts of masturbation will eventually lead to wankers cramp. Symptoms include: swollen wrists, arm hurting, swollen penis and inability to use your hand.

Guy 1: Where is Fred today?
Guy 2: He went to the hospital
Guy 1: Wankers cramp?

Guy 1: Your gay
Guy 2: You have wankers cramp

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wankers tash

also known as crab ladder, the hair below the naval leading down to the pubic region.

Fucking Hell! Your Wankers Tash is like a monkeys arm

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