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pretzel crunch

when a guy pushes your legs behind your head while having sex and proceeds to "crunch" you while putting all of his body weight on you. pain is usually associated with this position.

"How was your night Kelly?"
"John pretzel crunched me so hard, I couldn't breathe."

by pretzelmaker1234 October 4, 2015


Cap’n Crunch

Sex position when Person A rides Person B while Person B sucks person A’s dick whilst Person B makes an up and down crunching motion.

I Cap’n Crunched for breakfast this morning!”
“Is that why you have milk all over your face?”

by Strapped on sutra April 26, 2020


Malachi Crunch

1. Demolition Derby maneuver in which two contestants working in tandem crash into an opponent simultaneously from opposite sides, thereby creating the effect of a trash compactor. Coined in an episode of Happy Days, when the Malachi Brothers execute this maneuver on Pinky Tuscadero's car at the climax of the demolition derby. Pinky survived.

2. Any wanton attack that involves a two-pronged blitzkrieg by equal forces, converging on an incapacitated target.

3. Lascivious maneuver in which a female with ample bosom attacks a passed-out concert-goer with said bosoms, placed on either side of said concert-goers head, and subsequently crushing that head.

"Jen gave John a Malachi Crunch after he passed out in his seat at the Rush concert."

by JizzleDizzle September 6, 2007

166👍 17👎


Waffle Crunch

A poor kid's jizz

I'm a waffle crunch all up in this bitch!

by Kupdoggyshag October 19, 2008

89👍 8👎


Scooter Crunch

1. A delectable line of ice cream novelties made by the Frecker's Ice Cream Company. Scooter Crunches, which come in primarily chocolate and strawberry, consist of a core of chocolate or strawberry ice cream. Then, there is a layer of vanilla ice cream. After another thin chocolate or strawberry layer, the outside of the treat is covered in "crunchies."

2. Application of the Scooter Crunch brand name to other similarly-crafted ice cream novelties, such as those made by Good Humor, Blue Bunny, Deconna,Greenie's, etc.

3. The manifestation of a universal and infinite higher power in the form of a corporeal embodiment in ice cream.

The other day, I ate a Scooter Crunch, and then I immediately saw the face of God.

by JebediahScooter November 7, 2006

45👍 3👎


crunch week

That one week where ALL of your professors decide to give you projects/exams. It makes a lot of students fail under pressure. This week is usually towards the end of a semester.

Eddy: Ben, are you showing up for soccer practice?

Ben: Nah, it's crunch week. I've got three tests and two projects due tomorrow. These teachers have got no personal lives.

Eddy: Alright then. See ya next week.

by HazeStorm777 March 22, 2017


coochie crunch

Close friends or inseparable; buddies, or best friend

Watch what you say in front of Carlos. He and the boss are all coochie crunch with eachother. They're homies

by Carlos the Comic March 30, 2017