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The process of pooping prior to a business meeting or other event that may keep you from using the bathroom. Pooping prior to the event, as such to avoid abrupt exits during the meeting.
Excuse me, I just need to clear my Calendar before our 3:00pm meeting.
MOORPARK RESIDENTS ENJOY A COMMUNAL DUMP
actual newspaper headline
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Significant female in a male's life who organises so many "things to do" that the male has no control over his own social timing.
Dave: Are you coming out for beers on Thursday?
Al: Not sure if I can. I'll check my carbon-based calendar tonight and get back to you tomorrow.
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Politically Correct gone mad. Towards the end of the Julian Calendar cycle, the company you work for may invite you to an event formerly known as a Christmas Party.
Company email: You are hereby invited to the Non-denominational-end-of-Julian-Calendar-event. Please respond by Thursday if you wish to attend. There will be ham.
Employee response: No dice baby, I'm celebrating Christmas that day.
Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.
"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."
"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.
Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."
"Can you imagine if Walter Alston wore a football helmet during the baseball game? They would truck him away, man. 'Get him out of the dugout, man. Check his calendar!'"
-George Carlin, An Evening With Wally Londo Featuring Bill Slazo
The official name of the calendar that mental asylum inmates, delusionists, and Qnuts follow instead of the regular calendar. The crazy calendar has the same number of days as the regular calendar, including those of leap year.
However that is the only similarity. The calendar has only 6 months instead of 12, because both the delusionals and Qnuts especially have to short of a memory span to remember the names of 12 months.
Each month has 60 days, with the exception of February which has 65 days. During a leap year, February has 66 days.
1: You know James?
2: You mean that delusional dude, who also supports Q?
1: Yah, he was saying some weird stuff like June 47th.
2: He probably is following the crazy calendar like all the over-insanes follow. Their June 47th is our December 18th.