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Edward Cullen

A fictional character, and primary love interest of the first person narrator Isabella Swan in Stephenie Meyer's 'Twilight' series.

He lives in Forks, Washington.

He is a Meyerpire, a being that suffers from a psychosis leading him to believe he is a 'vampire'.

A one hundred and eight year old virgin (until the latest installment 'Breaking Dawn'), he is trapped in the body of a seventeen year old boy, sparkles in the sunlight, has the ability to move super fast (despite the fact that he is described as 'marble-like') and has a wide variety of 'speshul' powers.

He is adored by teenage girls and Catholic priests alike, and is so 'perfect' in every way that he actually shits flowers.

He later becomes the father of Renesmee (Affectionately referred to as 'Nessie' and 'Renestard'), a half-Meyerpire, half-human hybrid who is also 'perfect' and is imprinted on by the self-styled Pedo-Wolf Jacob Black.

He is often used as a reference for unimpressive or โ€˜pussyโ€™ vampires, despite the fact that he is not in fact a vampire.

See also: Stalker.

"I like glitter... does that make me gay?"

"If you're Edward Cullen."

by Sayer of Many Truths December 21, 2008

2396๐Ÿ‘ 549๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

a stalker who breaks into young girls houses and watches them sleep. He also sparkles and doesnt see anything wrong in killing bambi's relatives.

Kid 1: ...So I broke into her house and watched her slepping
Kid 2: thats creepy! youre soo an Edward Cullen!

by vampires_dont_sparkle March 9, 2009

421๐Ÿ‘ 86๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

A sorry excuse for a vampire. Instead of doing something incredibly awesome like exploding in the sun, he instead ruins the opportunity and glitters like a disney fairy. If blade were nearby, he would decapitate edward without even a second thought. Edward is pale to the point that most people would assume that he has skin cancer. He is the reason that global warming should be allowed to continue.

Becka: I Loooove Edward Cullen

Sam: Shut up ho

by nx7oee March 25, 2009

410๐Ÿ‘ 88๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

A 118 year old vampire pedophile who is in love with an 18 year old girl, Bella Swan. His main hobby is watching Bella sleep. While most people would think this is creepy, it is now socially acceptable, because Edward is so darn gorgeous that whatever he does is amazing. Edward also enjoys eating mountain lions, smashing things to show how strong he is, and saving Bella from getting killed. Edward Cullen had set the standards so high for men to follow, that women will even compare their boyfriends to him. Some even say, "Why aren't you more like Edward?" Edward is what girls fantasize about, and what boys throw their darts at.

Girl: I cannot believe you! Why don't you want to get married at age 18? We are in love! If Edward Cullen was my boyfriend, he would marry me! You need to be more like him!

by craziness15 February 7, 2010

499๐Ÿ‘ 111๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

Basically a lifeless vampire that brain washes 13 year old girls into thinking hes real. And he sparkles, but only in the sunlight.

Edward: I'm Edward Cullen and I sparkle in the sunlight.

Jacob: bark bark.

by Rickiyson December 22, 2008

1461๐Ÿ‘ 354๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

A fictional character in Stephenie Meyer's novel series Twilight. He is a vampire with the ability to read minds with the exception of Bella Swan.

Not only is he the world's oldest virgin, he is also the world's oldest pedophile.

Many girls within the 12-15 age range, are infatuated with him, and have created this need for the "perfect" boy whom also happens to be a vampire. Once they realize that no such boy exist, they start to believe that Edawrd Cullen is real, and read the book more than 2 times, to help push the idea further, along with their insanity.

Beth - OMG!!!!!! I am TOTALLY going to marry EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!! We are TOTALLY made for each other!!!!!!!!!

Allie - You're in love with a guy who doesn't even EXIST? Have fun trying to marry your book....

by adome March 26, 2009

159๐Ÿ‘ 33๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

A creepy, 108-year-old virgin pedophile who stalks a girl with less personality than a rock, invented by Stephanie Meyer to brainwash preteen girls in her plan to controll the world.
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch

Girl under the age and IQ of 15: "Edward Cullen is great! He's so romantic and protective!"
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."

by einzweidrei April 13, 2010

79๐Ÿ‘ 14๐Ÿ‘Ž