Merp

The word one would use instead of saying "sex".

Adam and Heather Merped in the bathtub.

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Merp

A sound where a fake laugh is made.

X: WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

what others hear

Me: merp merp merp merp merp

X: HEY I DONT SOUND LIKE THAT!

me: MERP MERP MERP MERP MERP!

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Merp Out

To pass out on the couch after a long day of drinking magnums of red wine.

I can't wait to get a magnum of Rex Goliath and merp out tonight.

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merp-a-derp

Something to say when the words merp, or derp is mentioned, mostly used by fabulous people.

Jeffery: Merp
Hillary: Derp
Both: Merp-a-Derp

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Merp and Derp's

Merp and Derp's are usually the best friends in the whole world. They are usually weird, fun to be around, funny, and all around awesome!

My friends all think that me and my sister are Merp and Derp's. best friends weirdo's awesome people sisters

Merp Alert

When a situation is beginning to become awkward. You know that it is about to be a merp situation however to avoid saying merp in the near future you warn the person you're talking to by saying "merl alert" which insists that they are about to say something merp worthy...

Are you going out tonight? we should meet up.

3 hours later....

..merp alert

"oh sorry I totally forgot to respond!"

-yea...... merp.

Neck Merp

The act of giving a person a hickey. To merp the neck of a significant other.

Whoa, Anna, where'd you get that huuge neck merp?

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