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quick fix

A shabby attempt at correcting a problem, which usually leads to bigger problems that could have been easily avoided by doing the job right the first time.

Problem: The condom broke.
Quick fix: Get down there and try to suck it out.
New problem: You just swallowed a bunch of jizz, you cum-guzzling idiot, and she's pregnant anyway.
Better idea: Give her the morning-after pill.

Problem: Too many ducks in your yard.
Quick fix: Use duck tape, thinking the ducks should be attracted to it.
New problem: Kids in the neighborhood used it to tape your son to a tree naked.
Better idea: Shoot those damn ducks with a sawed-off shotgun. That'll teach 'em.

Problem: You want a liter of cola. Not a 20-ounce bottle, not a 44-ounce big gulp, a fucking liter.
Quick fix: Jump over the counter, attack that burger punk, and start a crazy big mac-throwing riot.
New problem: That's assault, brother. You're in the slammer.
Better idea: Remind the kid that liter is French for "Give me some fucking cola before I break your fucking face!" Don't actually do it though.

Problem: Your arm is trapped under a slab of concrete, and you're starving.
Quick fix: Gnaw it off. That solves both problems.
New problem: You're handicapped and everyone laughs at you.
Better idea: Lift the cinder block off of your arm and walk to McDonald's across the street.

by Nick D July 14, 2004

109๐Ÿ‘ 22๐Ÿ‘Ž


Temporary Fix

Helping someone out for a period of time. Also visible in the One Direction song with the same name, written by Niall Horan. As "No Control" it's one of the more mature/edgy songs the band has written and performed. The meaning of "Temporary Fix" shows in the lyrics.

"You can call me, when you're lonely. When you can't sleep, I'll be your Temporary Fix. You control me, even if it's just tonight."

by finzi kikilino March 25, 2021


Fix Up

For those not living in London this is basically a way of telling somebody to improve something of theirs, normally coupled with 'look sharp' after the song released by Dizzee Rasscal

Fix up, look sharp

or

Fix up your hair

etc etc

by Hugh Janus September 16, 2004

96๐Ÿ‘ 21๐Ÿ‘Ž


Fixed News

An alternate word to describe the Fox "News" channel, signifying both the extreme right-wing bias of the network and the lack of credence in considering it a news network.

See "Fox Noise"

Fox never says anything good about Democrats, that's because they are Fixed News.

by ronin122 October 12, 2008

35๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Fix You

The best fucking song by coldplay ever.

I will try to fix you. First heard on The OC

by Fej June 5, 2005

130๐Ÿ‘ 32๐Ÿ‘Ž


fix up

used to tell someone to improve their shit

person 1: i aint got that MC Pitman CD yet yer ner..
person 2: you need to fix up and get it, its a heavy CD

by Vinyl Scientist October 10, 2003

82๐Ÿ‘ 19๐Ÿ‘Ž


Cluster Fix

generally small occurrences that exponentially improve a series of situations considered a 'cluster fuck'

Cassie: What a CLUSTER FUCK! Not only did my car break down but I just dropped my keys and they slid between the elevator shaft that is going to cost me 200 dollars! To make things worse, when my dad was researching repair methods for my car he downloaded a virus that fucked up my computer!
Zack: Its okay! The elevator people came out for free. I fixed your computer and your dad felt soo bad about fucking up your computer he put in new breaks and rotors! What a cluster fix!

by acowfrog April 16, 2009

12๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž