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sweet, cute, respectable young gentlemen...who love their religion and devote their lives for 2 years riding around like little goofs wearing suits on bicycles and going to peoples houses everday spreading the mormon religion and 9/10 times getting rejected......but good luck tryna date one, they only wanna date mormon girls, and they only date girls they might wanna marry in the future...they dont really hook up... LITTLE CUTIES.
doorbell rings
a mom: its those mormons trying to preach their religion to us for the 10th time.... dont get it!!!
a daughter: looks through door peepholedaaaayuuumn that blonde mormon missionary is finnne!!!!!!!!!!!! come on in!!!!!!
154👍 182👎
When you are banging her hard missionary position and she reaches around, pulls up your floppy scrotum and stuffs your balls deep into your ass crack.
Rachel gave me the missionary tuck last night. It felt great till i busted my nut and tensed my ass checks. Almost cut my damn nuts off.
3👍 1👎
The act of attempting to smack/hit the light switch as to avoid eye contact while participation in the sexual position known as ‘missionary’, but since you are locked in a perpetual state of kissing and smacking, you are forced to awkwardly look away at other objects around the room while trying to maintain an erection.
Yeah dude, last night I was banging this hot chick, but then I had to bail since I got into the missionary trap, my dick went limp almost immediately!
3👍 1👎
A sad depressing way of masturbation, in which a male is generally crying from loneliness, and is acting like he is in the conventional missionary position but using his hand instead of having a female present.
Man 1: Hey I just saw Ben, he is looking pretty depressed.
Man 2: Yeah I know, I guess he finally realized he is going to die alone and does is the lone missionary.
3👍 1👎
The highest position God will give nowadays. The ultimate honor. Being a missionary.
“Hey, would you like the missionary position?”
“Sure Dad!”
12👍 10👎
The type of doll that is so uptight that she must do it laying down...in missionary style. She especially gets upset when certain guys betray her beloved Save-A-Soul Mission by running a crap game in it. Again, she only likes missionary- never up the ass...she doesn't like crap.
Being so uptight, the only way Sarah's vagina could have the capacity to store a penis, was in missionary doll form.
18👍 22👎
Person who constantly trys to convert everyone to Christianity.
Whitney Oster: You are going to hell if u dont accept god.
Everyone else: Shut the fuck up!
26👍 37👎