The equivilent of asian shampoo in the kingdom of hotties.
Also, the equivilent of dollar store oreos as opposed to real oreos, in the kingdom of hotties.
Driving instructor:"That chick at the counter was pretty hot ay Tom?"
Tomathan:"Dunno... not really... she's the equivilent of dollar store marshmellows in the hottie world... she's a dollar store hottie"
2๐ 7๐
A blow job given by an Asian masseuse in a massage parlor.
Asian masseuse: you want special?
Client: yeah, baby, I want a five dollar happy meal.
11๐ 3๐
What my mom eats when the mailman comes over.
My mom ate the mailmans 5 dollar foot shlong.
When a guy doesn't have much money, but he's got a big dick.
Girl: "I've been hanging around this new guy lately... he can't pay my bills, but his dick is enormous."
Other girl: "Ah, sounds like a total five dollar foot long."
9๐ 2๐
1. A subway sandwich. Quite good if you put the right stuff on it.
2. A bad advertisement for a male slut.
1.
Sally: I got a great 5 dollar foot long from subway the other day!
Tanner: What was on it?
Sally: Mayo. Cheese. Turkey. Lettuce. Oil. Diabetes
2.
Patricia: I heard about the 5 dollar foot longs. I'm really horny tonight.
Clerk: Well ok ma'am, you'll be with Jaime
Jaime: Sup girrrrl. I heard you want my 5 dollar foot long.
Patricia: HELL YEAH!
10๐ 3๐
a weird movie in which a lady who is actually a guy, cough, is a boxer and wins a golden globe and possibly an oscar. Actually, the winning the oscar thing isn't in the movie, and neither is the golden globe. but that happens in real life, and then the lady gives a big speech on how amazing clint eastwood is when really she should be thanking other people too, but no, she decided just to thank stupid clint, and because of that, it became painful.
Hilary Swank: Oh gosh thanks for this golden globe yes. well clint eastwood you rock you are the best yes you are yes you are goochy goochy goo. yeah i couldn't have done it without clint. clint you are wonderful and you are talented and you directed AND acted in this and for that you need more thanks. thank you clint thank you clint. One more time! everyone together! CLINT YOU ROCK!
Audiece: ...
Hilary Swank: One more time! CLINT YOU ROCK!
Audience: ...
HS: Oh, come on, you did it for Jamie Foxx!!
Audience: ...
HS: OK, well since you won't do that, I guess I'll just have to thank clint some more!
Audience: NO!
*they hurl themselves onto the stage and HS manages to beat them to the ground*
HS: Yay...Clint?
11๐ 83๐
When you have said something utterly retarded this phrase can be added to the end of your statement thereby nullifying the fact that you have just made a complete jackass of yourself.
Hey you know what I miss about being a little kid? Playing Candyland. Then I found five dollars.
45๐ 23๐