Florida Speed Bump

An alligator. They're called Florida speed bumps by locals in non-metro areas of Florida because alligators tend to use the sunlight heated roads as heat rocks. They sprawl out across the middle of the road, and serve as a huge, scaly, armor plated speed bump. The bigger ones will not flatten if you hit them, it will just tear up your car real good.

Dale - "Hey Jamie, what the hell did we just hit?"

Jamie - "I reckon we just hit one hell of a Florida speed bump!"

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Need for Speed Carbon

A sequel to the Need For Speed games. Most people hated it because it's was a rehash of the previous "Most Wanted" sequel. But if you are like me, aka one of the people that hated having to purposely crash onto police cars and police roadblocks to "level up" in Most Wanted, you probably loved Carbon. Because Carbon only requires you to interact with the police only when you accidentally bump onto them, and not be a mazohist and hit them on purpose.

Wtf... I need to purposely crash onto 10 roadblocks to level up? Why are you doing this to me, Most Wanted? Screw this. I 'll just launch Need For Speed Carbon.

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Wooden Spoon Speed

Wooden Spoon Speed is the speed at which a child runs at while being persued by said childs enraged parent.

any person can run at wooden spoon speed.

after lil jonny broke the window, he ran at wooden spoon speed to hide under his bed.

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high speed dirt

The title refers to what happens to a skydiver when his parachute doesn't deploy: you hit the dirt at very high speed and most likely die.

Oh man, his parachute didn't open. Prepare for some high speed dirt!

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dry speed bumming

its when you putt sand in your crack to make it dryer than the desert and participate in unlubricated anal sex at high speed for fun.

so is ther a dry speed bumming on the cards tonight?

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mexican speed wrench

In its most literal form, any member of the wrench family featuring a screw-adjustable aperture, allowing one wrench to fit any sized nut or bolt. While not the ideal tool for the job, the mexican speed wrench is the fastest.

Is that bolt there a 15mm or 16mm? Ah, fuck it. Hand me the mexican speed wrench.

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Speed limit of sex

Sixty-eight. Because when you reach sixty-nine, you have to turn around.
I know. Lame.

Dude: Last night I broke the speed limit of sex.
Guy: 69?
Dude: Yep.
Guy: How lame...

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