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Cookie Monster

A famous children's TV show star, as well as the former lead singer of the death metal band Cannibal Corpse.

Despite being more known for the former, Cookie Monster was the original lead singer of the famed death metal band before they got signed. The main reason why Cookie Monster was kicked out of Cannibal Corpse was due to his addiction of the said baked goods in his name. Cookie Monster was caught sucking the dick of his fellow cast member on Sesame Street, Ernie for a bag of Chips Ahoy. The rest of his band caught him in the act, and fired him subsequently.

Cookie Monster went through a downhill spiral, using all the money he made on TV (being now kicked out of Cannibal Corpse) to go to the local Mr. Fields and buy all their inventory. Cookie Monster lost the lease on his gorgeous condominium in Martha's Vineyard, divorced his wife (who at the time was the then-irresistible 90's babe Alicia Silverstone), and was reduced to munching on his "sweets" in the back of his beaten-up 1972 Chevy El Camino. But one day, in the summer of 2001, Cookie Monster admitted himself into a rehab center in Palo Alto, California.

There he spent a long six years recovering from his habits of munching, grinding, snorting, and shooting up forms of his favorite baked good. At that time, the producers of Sesame Street hired a stunt double to take over Cookie's role on the show, but the double wasn't popular as he (the stunt double) said he enjoyed veggies as much as cookies. The real Cookie, though, did finally make it out of rehab (even after several fights with the personnel there--once at which resorting to being drugged up by employees after smuggling cookies into his room).

At long last, on August 21, 2007, the Cookie Monster was released from rehab and he was a changed man--sort of. He still only eats cookies, but at least he admits to not sucking a dick for one. The stunt double on Sesame Street continues to take Cookie's place so there's no production conflicts while the real Cookie Monster has recently recorded a guest appearance on a thrash metal track aptly named "Cookie Monster" with the band XTT (look it up on YouTube) and has been doing session recording with other metal acts. Rumors have spread that Cookie Monster is also appearing on a duet with Serj Tankian (vocalist of alt-metal band System of a Down) on the latter's next solo album. Cookie Monster now lives a quiet life with his current girlfriend and famous British singer Estelle in their quaint apartment in Leeds, United Kingdom.

by JimboWales August 20, 2010

21๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


Milk and Cookies

the best medicine to be found in the kitchen

nestled close to the blanket with milk and cookys tiny cruukies appear

by lily June 26, 2004

129๐Ÿ‘ 89๐Ÿ‘Ž


anal cookies

(noun) (plural) small flakes of human fecies that form along the length of the shaft of the penis while a person is being violently sodomized (pounded anally)

Nelson could smell the fresh batch of anal cookies that were cooking in his wife's kitchen.

by DAD-ANAL November 7, 2006

30๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


eat the cookie

A phrase to describe getting the short end of the stick, or being left holding the bag! From the literal: group of guys having a circle jerk "on" a cookie placed in the middle of the group. The last one to climax has to "eat the cookie".

John was the one left to eat the cookie when all his friends found chicks to hook up with at the bar.

by Craig June 19, 2006

70๐Ÿ‘ 45๐Ÿ‘Ž


wet cookie

It's based on the old pissing on marshmallows in a toilet, a training tool posed to male kids needing to learn how to practice with their accuracy. It turned into a college gag, a fraternity prank, where frat boys would piss on a cookie and offer it to new initiates or to other frat boys.

have a wet cookie

by Quanta Cookie September 17, 2010

71๐Ÿ‘ 45๐Ÿ‘Ž


Cookies and Creamer

The act of while having sex with a female, the male pulls out and just before he ejaculates he squats over the woman's face and proceeds to take a shit while simultaneously pointing his boner at her cheeks/lower chin and shooting his cum all over her face. The result is that the female's face is covered in shit and cum, which she must then lick off of her face. For the shit and cum mix that she cannot lick off her face, the woman must wipe it onto an ice cream cone and slowly lick it until she has eaten it all.

My girlfriend was bitching because I wouldn't buy her an ice-cream when we were at the pool so when we got home I gave her a Cookies and Creamer and that seemed to shut her up for several weeks. Literally, she didn't say a word to anyone for two weeks after.

by Phickle Dude January 17, 2011

9๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


Sex cookie

A quadruple chocolate cookie sold by sainsbury's. Each cookie contains over 100kcal and has been likened to sex. Though very satisfying at first and during consumption, a feeling of disappointment at the short lived pleasure is unavoidable. In the end, the consumer is left with a feeling that the cookie was not as large as hoped, over too quickly and not particularly satisfying.

Are there any sex cookies left?

No, I ate the last one, wasn't really big enough to fill me though...

by chemengfun May 25, 2010

9๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž