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Extremely old. Soon to be expired.
A: Check out the NEW JZ collection!
B: NEW?! It's Old like the condom in your wallet.
47👍 11👎
the equivalent of saying its going to rain/snow soon best be preparwd
Carl, looks like the clouds are out of condoms again best be prepared as it going to rain soon
I’m probably not even gonna have a husband so I can Spend $12,000 on Flex Tape and condoms and nobody will be able to yell at me for it
9👍 3👎
An insult that can be used as an alternative to "fuck me" or "fuck me sideways" and can avoid actions that look like fucking someone sideways. Also an insult that can be used against others because they are simply an ass or they are stupid, and as such, deserve really painful sex.
-Why the hell did you yell your ex's name when you had sex with your girl?
-Fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom.
-Dude, where the hell are you?
-I'm stuck behind this old fart.
-Go fuck him sideways with a sandpaper condom, it's your damn fault you woke up late.
12👍 4👎
The sole condom, possibly past it's use-by date that is stored in the wallet of the hopelessly single.
That bitch stole my wallet! I mean seriously, what's she going to do with my expired Driver's License and who-am-I-kidding? condom
23👍 14👎
a very good condom that feels as if there is nothing there while having anal or vaginal sex with your B@b!
"hold on baby i'll be right back, i have to go get my TROJAN HER PLEASURE LUBRICATED CONDOM before we have hard rough sex"
4👍 3👎
Excellent advice that is totally obvious. The advice is a complete understatement.
Father: "When you go skydiving, don't forget to use your parachute."
Teen son: "Thanks dad...and remember to never use a condom more than once."
20👍 5👎