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When you have to go to the bathroom but are constipated, so you push really hard until the forehead vein is visibly beating, you see spots and become light headed.
(to someone exiting a bathroom stall)
Hey man! you ok? You need help getting your balance. I see your forehead vein pounding!
(second guy) Nah man, I'm alright just a little light headed form that toilet stroke......
ham on a toilet seat
its just a piece of ham on a toilet aka toilet ham
Slang.
Unlike a Brown Toilet Trout which is gone when you flush the toilet a Toilet Salmon is a turd that when flushed returns like a salmon that swims upstream back to where it was spawned.
Example 1:
Holy cow, I flushed twice and I still can't get this toilet salmon to go down stream. What has that crazy vegan been feeding me?
Example 2:
A flushing sound heralds a momentarily soon to be unoccupied bathroom that upon departure of its user becomes occupied. The new occupant notices something left behind in the toilet where it is heard, "HEY Someone left a turd in here!"
The reply: "You can't blame me for a toilet salmon spawning season. I flushed."
Example 3:
"I flushed but if there are any toilet salmon in there you can't hold that against me."
When you shit, wipe your ass then jizz in the toilet.
Usually shit in bottom, toilet paper next then jizz
Guy 1: “Dude I just toilet smore’d in there.”
Guy 2: “That’s fucking disgusting why did you need to tell me that for fucks sake man.”
The act of participating and/or initiating conversation when using the toilet.
If you walk into a club's bathroom and listen to all the intoxicated conversation, this is a form of toilet talking.
Akin to pillow talk, we are now taking the pillow to the toilet.
Jerry forgot to bring the paper into the toilet for his routine coffee, cigarette, poop & read. So he called Elaine instead of reading. Jerry and Elaine are now actively toilet talking.
Jerry and Elaine are having some pillow talk after some "this and that", Elaine wanted a shower and Jerry had to use the bathroom as well. They casually brought the conversation into the toilet. They are now pillow talking in the toilet; Toilet Talking.
Passing gossip while on a toilet in a stall or while on the phone.
I went into the bathroom and overheard toilet rumors and farts.
The act of using a plunger repeatedly on a clean toilet to push an item thru that accidentally got flushed.. like a plastic tampon applicator.
Oh my God, I need to do toilet CPR because my hair extension fell into the toilet and got flushed!