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Random
Person 1: I’m going to keep it 401k with you, you’re in trouble.
51👍 6👎
A scam used by the wealthy to rip off the working class.
The market dropped so much that all last years contributions to my 401k have been wiped out. I'll bet the clowns that managed it made sure their big money clients didn't lose anything.
515👍 199👎
A girl or guy that you could see yourself marrying in the future, but currently want to remain friends. You invest time and conversation occasionally in this person because you know the payout in the future will be worth it.
Bro 1 -"Hey bro, are you going to date Molly?"
Bro 2 -"No, right now shes just my 401K."
Bro 1 -"What does that mean?"
Bro 2 -"Right now isn't the right time to date her, but I see myself marrying her when I retire from these hoes and my current lifestyle."
64👍 21👎
Someone who is legally too young to date, so an older, interested individual must invest time and effort into a platonic relationship until such time they can reap the forbidden benefits legally.
"Yes! I've been friends with this girl for a year and it's finally her 18th birthday. Time to cash in my 401k!"
98👍 72👎
Hey dumb ass, why don't you go get a 401k . gotta be a fucking retarded if you think I'm lying.
11👍 29👎
A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.
Mama, I'll be gettin' my own double wide 'cause my check's in the mail!--Alabama 401K in action!
233👍 54👎
Something dumb shits do: Cash out their 401k and just chill for a few months until it runs out. Then find a job, if any employer would be so lucky to have their dumb ass.
This asshole at work got laid off and decided to 401k and chill for a few months.
12👍 2👎