9-5er

A person who sticks to a 9-5 job.

A person involved in a mundane job.

Guy 1: Hey, I listened to your rendition of Red Hot Chili Peppers' Californication
Guy 2: How was it?
Guy 1: It was amazing!! But, that's besides the point! I don't understand why you are a 9-5er when you can clearly be the next Anthony Kiedis!

9-5ers Anthem

The anthem which all 9-5er workers live by

"Fumble out of bed, and stumble to the kitchen; pour myself a cup of ambition. And yawn and stretch, and my life is a mess, and if i make it home today god bless." - The 9-5ers Anthem

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Wrinkled 9-5er

His girlfriend is starting to hate him and he’s become largely immune to her passive-aggressive behaviour because he’s a shell of the man she thought he’d amount to. They’re spending 70% of their already taxed income on rent so they can live in reasonable proximity to the job he hates. Their prospects of owning a home align with their chances of winning the lottery. He spends 6+ hours a day planning his draft kings lineup and listening to Bitcoin podcasts because it acts as a source of hope and mental escapism from the dopamine-deprived corporate hellhole he spends most of his conscious life pretending to work for. He’s effectively entered the “privatized welfare” class of Canadians whereby he’s paid a shitty wage, with nearly 0 chance of upside in return for sitting at a desk for 37.5 hours a week and pretending to click buttons on a screen that matter. He’s given up, drowning in his own irrelevance- “there must be more” he murmurs to himself as he clambers into the revolving door with his unwashed, wrinkled corporate attire, the uninspiring symphony of monotonous grays and blues, which is like an elaborate camouflage designed for aspiring off

Check out that Wrinkled 9-5er. I feel for the guy.