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assistance

When one needs assistance, they need sex.

Fundo needed assistance, but with no females handy, his right hand had to become handy.

by authOOr June 24, 2006

18๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž


Assist

1. A statistic in sports, mainly hockey and soccer, when you pass the object in play to a teammate who then scores.

2. A statistic in first-person shooters that shows how many times you tried to kill an enemy but your teammate had to finish the job.

1. In an ice hockey game, I got an assist by passing across the ice to my teammate who then shot and scored.

2. In Call of Duty I shot a guy in front of me only for him to strafe away and I got an assist after he ran right into my teammate's bayonet.

by Nick Weiner February 3, 2009

45๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


Assistant

A modern day slave. A person who does all of his/her spaz-attack bossโ€™ dirty work.

When receiving orders simply smiles and says โ€œYes sir,โ€ โ€œYes maโ€™m,โ€ and โ€œnot a problem, Iโ€™ll get started on it right away,โ€ but really would like to say โ€œyou want me to do what?,โ€ โ€œare you freak'n kidding me, can't you see Iโ€™m still working on the last โ€œprojectโ€ you gave me?,โ€ and โ€œwhy the hell canโ€™t you do that yourself.โ€

When turning in work says โ€œit was my pleasure,โ€ โ€œnot a problem,โ€ and โ€œlet me know if there is anything else I can do for you,โ€ but would really like to say โ€œhereโ€™s the shit you wanted,โ€ โ€œnext time get it yourself,โ€ and โ€œif you come into my office one more timeโ€ฆโ€

Boss to assistant: I need you to do W, Y and Z now.

Assistant: "Yes sir/ma'm, right away master. Would you like to me to polish your ass while I'm at it?"

by Lonely Assistant August 3, 2012

41๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


ASSist

Opposite of cock block

1. -verb
To help one recieve sexual pleasure from another person

2. -noun
The result of helping one recieve sexual pleasure from another person

1. I ASSisted my nerdy brother by telling that chick he was starting quarterback for his high school team. That bitch was on him all night.

2. I got the ASSist when I told her that my nerdy brother was rich. She was all over him.

by Jay Danger February 18, 2008

30๐Ÿ‘ 18๐Ÿ‘Ž


assistant

the opposite hand used for masturbation; the hand that often holds a tissue, towel, or sock.

the skin on my assistant hand is softer than the skin on my right hand..

by Words4Thoughts November 4, 2011

19๐Ÿ‘ 12๐Ÿ‘Ž


assisted

Retarded, Stupid

My teammates are the most assisted motherfuckers I've ever seen.

by Ulost July 26, 2016

6๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Assistication

When you're at a restaurant and you order a main course meal only to find that the size of the dish is too big for you to finish, you ask a friend to assisticate you.

A conjunction of the word "assist" and "mastication".

They finish off the meal you paid thirty bucks for so you don't waste your money.

Rebecca: "This burger is the size of my head. Paige, will you assisticate me?"
Paige: "This is too much assistication to ask for."

by pastrychefsniper January 27, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž