Aiden Howard

A man who came from nothing. Truly a rags to riches story. Grew up in the slums of Brazil and moved to the United States when he was 11. He mastered the art of glass blowing, among other types of blowing. He became the first gold medal winner in the olympics for blowing.

You could say the other players sucked, or rather, got sucked. His life story is an inspirational one, and he recently received the medal of freedom from Donald J Trump, the big man himself.

Gay club owner: “Did you see that boy walkin’ down the street?”

Employee: “Yeah, that was Aiden Howard, four time gold medal winner in blowing!”

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