Alfie Noakes

A sobriquet for any person from the North of England who displays rude manners and low intelligence. From the absurdist 1970s humour of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.

A false name to be given when making a group booking at a fine dining restaurant, where there is a likelihood of poor behaviour by one or more of the guests.

Maitre D': "Never accept a booking from Alfie Noakes again. One of those cunts wiped his arse with the linen table cloth after the soup course"