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Plain and simple: a proctologist.
Not this morning Dean, I have an appointment with the asshole doctor at 8:15 so he can take a look at my anal warts!
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When your elderly Aunt argues with your mother about medical stuff and they interject their belief that their doctor is superior to another's.
Mickey, I don't care what you doctor says, I don't need a cardiogram.
Well you know what Edna, you fucking have "An Asshole Doctor" on your hands.