Apparition Litigation

For those individuals supranaturally inclined, a proposal that would allow 'spirit' or 'ghost' testimony--verbal, written or gesture, as legitimate court evidence and admissible for legal proceedings. Attestation provided by creatures such as pixies, genies, fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, centaurs, chimeras, imps, ghouls, gnomes, trolls, hippogriffs, basalisks, dragons and/or werewolves, among others, are patently disallowed due to their imaginary or mythological status.

Prosecution: Mrs. Jones is on trial for the murder of her husband. Forensic evidence will show that she struck him on the back of the head with a large iron skillet. Testimony from our medical expert will show that the blow crushed his skull and fragments of bone severed large arteries supplying his brain. Furthermore, we have an eye-witness to the events as provided by the account of Elder Price, a Mormon evangelist who had just rung the residence door-bell.

Defense: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury--Mrs. Jones is completely innocent of this heinous crime. As our evidence is presented, you will see that it was Mrs. Kristienz, the DECEASED Ex-wife of Mr. Jones, who is responsible for his murder...we call Mrs. Kristianz to the stand!

Bailiff: Mrs. Kristianz, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Mrs. Kristianz?

Judge: Mrs. Kristianz, do you realize that you must answer the question, gesture or provide a written response? Mrs. Kristianz? Apparition Litigation in continuance until further notice...

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