Assula

Ass + spatula. This is the spatula your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Usually large enough to flip a 12" pancake, and strong enough withstand a 300 degree flame. Often contained a homing device so when you broke something in the house and went to hide the assula before your mom found the broken item, your mom could always find it to come beat some ass.

My mom was so proud of her assula that she had it bronzed.

I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.