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'Announcements' that Myspace whores issue on an annoyingly regular basis, bulletins are devoid of any worthwhile content and conventionally consist of a running commentary on the given Myspace whore's boring whore-ish life. 'Quizzes' that ask retarded questions such as: "what is your ex's dog doing right now?" and "do you regret fornicating with the milkman now that you have syphilis?" are also common features. Due to the fact that Myspace whores base their self-worth on the number of picture comments that they can scrounge, you can sometimes get a bulletin that begs for picture comments too!
Some examples of bulletins:
"Picture comments on my new default? I look extra ugly in it! Woo!"
"I'm bored, so why not talk to me and become bored yourself?"
"Do you regret sodomizing yourself with a bread knife?
IDK
Have you ever microwaved your genitalia without realising it?
Can't remember."
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Here are some good examples of classic church bulletin bloopers:
1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.
5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.
8) Ushers will eat latecomers.
9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
21) 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
22) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
23) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
24) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
25) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr.Hargreaves is better.
26) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
27) Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
28) The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
29) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
30) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
31) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
32) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
33) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
An office bulletin: If you have nothing to do please don't do it here.
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(n) faeces. "to issue a bulletin" is to excrete an amount of faeces toiletwards. See also: all-points bulletin
This morning I got up and issued a bulletin before going to work.
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to convert information, useless or otherwise, into a bulletin on myspace in order to share it with a large number of friends or waste their time
Walker finds it necessary to bulletinize everything in a desperate plea for attention.
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someone on myspace who leaves an infinite number of bulletins on myspace to the point u cannot keep up with them and they are basically the same thing rephrased.
There goes Joe again telling us about his party on Friday this is probably his 23rd bulletin.....damn bulletin-whore.
A person (usually female), who is on your myspace.com friends list, who posts an unholy amount of bulletins, until every bulletin you see is from that person. These bulletins are usually incredibly pointless, and consist of at least one of these things:
-Random outbursts, talking about how much they hate "drama".
-Begging for picture comments.
-"Talk.. <3"
-Telling people about how they had fun hanging out with their friends that day. As if any sane person really gives a shit.
-Announcements of new: about me, pictures, blog, headline, display name, music section, who I'd like to meet, etc.
-Random song lyrics (usually to a really retarded song).
-Conversations with the poster's friend(s), because they don't have the common sense to use the message or comment function.
-A survey detailing points of your life that nobody gives a fuck about.
-Bragging about how they got a new phone, camera, iPod, etc.
-The ultimate "shoot-me-in-the-head-right-now" breed of bulletins, chain letters. These usually are comprised of a stupid, made-up story about someone dying, and how their ghost will come back to murder you if you don't repost. They can also be about some horrendously sappy love story ending with "REPOST THIS AS "AWW" AND U WILL GET KISSED BY UR CRUSH ON FRIDAY; IF U DONT REPOST, U WILL BE A VIRGIN FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS AND SEVEN DAYS".
Here's some great (real) examples of bulletin whores:
Subject: at (censored)'s
Body: fdsfjsodiufsjfos leaving sooooooooooooooooooon :}
Subject: COMMENT MY NEW PIX
Body: xomment my new pix
Subject: hehehehe
Body: yooooo like the stupid ccd took my phone away like wtf shes not my mom but itsk i forgive her hahahahahakkkk almost homeeeee talk onlineee or txtttt yeeeeeyyyy
Subject: helllllllllo
Body: talk to me <3
Subject: so waht do u do..
Body: when u kno what is bad for u
is what u want..
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a group of words posted for all of your myspace friends to see that typically consists of a curse of bad luck, survey, mass murderer,pleas for comments, insane obnoxious list of things wanted in a relationship usually includes some sappy love story , announcement of new pictures, etc.
oh em gee i better replace this myspace bulletin or else an evil clown will come and get me
lyke OmG that myspace bulletin was lyke sooo0oo cute* i want a relation ship like that LOL LOL
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