One who is so lame that the only hole they'll ever get is the one in the center of their morning bagel. They usually eat it afterwards, with butter and a different, homemade cream cheese.
Peter: Quagmire watch the numbers would you? I'm going to heat up a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: The butter's in the fridge, you dirty bagel-hole-screwer!
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