Ball Armour

Ball armour is chain mail which is set upon a ring that goes over the shaft of the penis and hangs at the base around its girth exuding a chain mail apron below to cover ones balls.
Ball armour is required around bitchy girlfriends/wives/fiancees who want to run your life into the ground and demand the right to call the shots on all sections of your life including who you are friends with, what you wear, what decor you have, what you can do on the weekend etc.
Once ball armour is secured in place behind outer garments these bitches are simultaneously muted. Though they may still rage around you even perhaps trying to spank you into some sort of submission they will actually now just be like a bad tv programme and no longer audible or able to physically harm.
Slowly they fade off scene and one realises that ball armour has again made life pleasant as you remember when life was simple easy and enjoyable and just be your unique joyful self.

Friends of Joe: Hey Joe we are going out on Saturday are you coming
Joe : I will have to run it past chick
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour
Joe : You don't know how she gets!!!! (Starts crying) WTF is ball armour????

Female platonic friend of Joe: Hey Joe how is your sore foot
Joe : Really bad thanx for asking
Female platonic friend of Joe: Thats too bad
Joe: Hey I have to get off the phone chick is about to cut my balls off for talking to you
Friends of Joe : So pussy whipped! You need ball armour