Barbie-wrapped

"Barbie wrapped" describes any item that is so thoroughly sealed, tied, welded, twistied, taped, glued, and sewn into its plastic packaging that a normal human being can't get it out without several hours, numerous sharp implements, two power tools, and a box of Band-Aids.

I tried to put together that RaptorGizmoTron after my kid went to sleep, but it was so Barbie-wrapped that I ended up in the ER getting stitches instead.

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