bitch tax

Bitch tax is what you pay after breaking up with someone. It refers to the value of whatever personal effects of yours they had and now will not return.

John: She has my favorite shirt, three of my CDs, and my dog, and she's refusing to give them back now that we've broken up.
Adam: That's a tough bitch tax to pay, man.

Sally: I left my shampoo, makeup, and underwear at his place. Should I call him to try to get it back?
Jane: Just pay the bitch tax and move on.

Tom: Amanda stopped by to return my apartment key, autographed baseball, and the $30 she owed me.
Kristen: Wow, you didn't have to pay any bitch tax? Nice breakup!

bitch tax

1. The price you pay for having a girlfriend or wife. It could be money or something more abstract such as loss of your freedom.

2. Alimony and/or child support.

You, remembering the good old days: "I used to be flush with cash until I started paying the bitch tax"

Coworker to you: "Hey man you wanna grab a beer after work?"
You: "I'd love to but I can't afford the bitch tax".

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Bitch Tax

The fee you are morally entitled to charge your female friend when on any occasion or outing, they start to bitch and complain.

'We went on a girls weekend away and it only took 5 minutes for Sandy to start bitching so we had to increase the Bitch Tax.'

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