Blaptise

When a member of the church slaps you on the face with his genitalia

Derek the priest: I had such fun with that altar boy yesterday.
Man: Did you Blaptise him?

Blaptised

When you take a shit and you get a splash on your butthole

release log
poor dive form 2/10
Immense splash upon entry
significant toilet water collision with gooch, I was blaptised.