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These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked charva who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other charvas will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Charvas will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some charvs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
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charvas are a group/ kind of people. they like to get pissed, say fuck, get pregnant and do anything illegal. charvas have no brains and many cannot count to 10. they stop at number 9 because that's the amount of children they have had by the age of 15. as you have probably already read, charvas like to wear "trackie b's" "rockie b's" and the ever popular tog 24 coats. most charvas die at the age of 32 due to lung cancer, (their own fault for starting smoking at the age of 11) charvas often hang around in large groups because that way they feel "hard" the only thing that's hard is a charva boys you know what when he sees a charva girl in her skin tight jeans with a bottle of cider in her hand. shazzam, a baby charva is made. charva babies are the worst babies. they are the kind of children who will be amazed at a plank of wood for hours, oh, just like dad. as you may have already noticed, i hate charvas. however, if you are a charva you probably hadn't noticed because you are all a bunch of thick shits who deserve to be shot! thank you for making my high school years a misery! (note to charvas: i was being sarcastic) that word says sarcastic. repeat after me sar-ca-s-tic. now go and tell your mammy you learnt a new word, how was her 17th birthday?!
charva sayings:
"wot yee fuckin lookin at yee fuckin cunt?"
"how"
"who fucks like a fish?"
"will you tie mee shoe lace for is... how?"
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Charva is the romany (gypsy) word for unruly youth. Why it originates in Newcastle when there is next to no gypsies is beyond me. In my part of the north-east (Darlington) the word charva refers to gypsies as that is the correct meaning. The little tossers from Newcastle are just wannabe gypsies (fuck knows why) hence the use of the word charva to describe themselves.
Real charvas wear real burberry caps and rockports as they can afford the flash gear because they (somehow) make lots of money unlike the little wannabe rentas.
"charva kekka rokka" <---real charva talk not no imitation shit from the wannabes
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Extremely stupid human being (Or a very close approximation), who enjoys wearing cheap jewelrey (Not always cheap, but they make it look cheap), tracksuits (Fred Perry, Levi Jeans, Rockports).
Believes themselves to be smart and clever, extremely arrogant and egotestical, according to the Charva race - Goths and such are Hippies.
" 'ere man ya fookan 'ippee!!! "
" Ya tink ya fookan cleva?! "
" Aal fookan dek ya!! "
" My dik iz wel biga len yors!!"
" Ya bein' teekee!?!?! "
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Mispronounced name of a girl in a Frank Zappa tune of the same name.
Charva... Charva... I love you thorugh and through, I loved you since in grammar school when we were sniffin glue...
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A song on Frank Zappa's Mystery Disc.
Charva has left him, and he wants her back. He swears that he truly loved her, and continues to do so. You get the feeling she isn't going to go back to him, though.
Selected lyrics:
"I loved you since in grammar school
When we were sniffing glue..."
"Charva, my darling,
The only love I had,
I hope you will forgive me dear,
For punching out your dad..."
"Charva, oh, Charva,
I love you more and more,
I swear it ain't because your father
owns a liquor store..."
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A song on the Mystery Disc by Frank Zappa.
Selected lyrics:
"I loved you since in grammar school
When we were sniffing glue..."
"Charva, my darling,
The only love I had,
I hope you will forgive me dear,
For punching out your dad..."
"Charva, oh, Charva,
I love you more and more,
I swear it ain't because your father
owns a liquor store..."
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