Candy Uncle

A man whom one can hire to act as a child’s uncle. However, if at any point said child eats more than one piece of candy, the candy uncle will be said to have had a mysterious death and disappear. It’s never explained, but the child knows. They know.

Jack: I’m thinking of hiring a Candy Uncle. I don’t want Harry to eat too much candy.
Jeremiah: Oh ok you do you I guess

Candy Uncle

1. A term of endearment for a man who is not old enough to be a Sugar Daddy but performs the same or simular duties as a Sugar Daddy.

2. A younger Sugar Daddy
3. Middle age pimp in his late 30's and 40's

I got a good Candy Uncle becuase he takes care of me and my needs

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