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An auto-immune disorder that causes intolerance to gluten, which is found in Wheat, Rye, Barley, Spelt, and several other grains - but NOT corn, rice, quinoa, or buckwheat.
If you are gluten intolerant or celiac, and you eat something with buckwheat, corn, rice, etc., and get sick, it's most likely due to cross contamination, or because you don't thoroughly read the ingredients. Another cause is that you may also have another intolerance or allergy, such as lactose or soy. Or, you ate something earlier in the day that you didn't react to until later, and now here you are blaming an innocent GF muffin. Shame on you.
If you are a celiac, you can't just watch out for bread. You have to also watch out for mayonaise, fake eggs, restaurant eggs, bbq sauce, soy sauce, salad dressing, soup, chili, processed foods, fake meat, low grade meat with fillers, malted beverages, gravy, meat bastes, mixed spices, any kind of sauce, anything you've never heard of... There might even be gluten in your shampoo. It's really easy to get sick if you're not careful.
Reactions to gluten in someone with celiac disease can occur immediately, or hours later. These reactions are nearly all-inclusive, and range from rashes, to abdominal pain, to crazy hallucinations and mood swings. But you can always bet that if you give a celiac a (non-gluten-free) cookie, he or she will ask for some pepto-bismol, directions to the bathroom, and a frying pan to hit you in the face with.
Did you see that House episode with the woman who had celiac disease, who was completely crazy and dying? That's what happens to me when I eat pie!
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A disease that is explained above but also a lyric from the song Jungle by Mome boys.
"Celiac disease I don't fuck with gluten.
A really shitty auto-immune disorder that comes about from an intolerance of gluten (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, teff, buckwheat, quinoa, etc.) and makes you have to cook everything you eat. It also means you can't have pizza, ramen noodles, or easy mac, which is what most people live off of.
Some Celiacs can't have soy or milk either. So basically they can't eat anything. It's a blast.
Celiac Disease is WIDELY misdiagnosed. Most people who have it suffer an average of 9 years before some stupid doctor finally realizes what's wrong with them.
A person with Celiac Disease cannot eat pizza, which is obviously a tragic thing.
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An autoimmune disorder that affects upwards of 17 people, with 98% cases occurring in or near affluent, well-to-do, upper-class suburban areas. Causes sufferers to experience symptoms such as:
•whining,
•annoying the people around you who work for a living,
•cramping,
•rash,
•saying "I can't have gluten" until people want to punch you for it
•Hallucinations of having an actual disease
•Shopping at Trader Joe's, unnecessarily
•shifting political views towards the left
Celiac's has never been documented in white-collar or homeless populations, and is mainly self-diagnosed, therefore, very little is known about it.
Tommy: "I bought some donuts!"
Kate: "Do they have gluten? Abby can't have them if they have gluten, she has Celiac's Disease."
Tommy: "The fuck she does."
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