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A person whom is infatuated with feces, flatulence and butt holes.
If you work at a nursing home because you enjoy wiping other people's butts, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever pooped your pants laughing at a poop joke, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever dried a turd in a food dehydrator, then coated it with laquer, put a fish hook in it, then mounted it on a plaque that said "Brown Trout", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever eaten your pants because you wanted to shit your pants, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever taken a shit that wasn't yours, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever butt-chugged a half-price margarita in the bathroom of a restaurant, you might be a clamneck.
You are a clamneck if you name all of your turds.
If you have a bumper sticker that says "I'd rather be E. coli", you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tipped over a Johnny On The Spot while you were on the INSIDE, you might be a clamneck.
If you've ever tried to store a fart in a jar, you might be a clamneck.
If you have a brown cell phone case for the purpose of camouflaging poop stains, you might be a clamneck.
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A person whom is infatuated with feces, flatulence and butt holes
If you've ever taken a foreigners "pull my finger" virginity, you might be a clamneck.
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Long Erect Nipples much like the Neck section on an american Saltwater clam.Often Clam Necks will found frequenting your more disreputable tavern and bars(see barfly)and for the price of a few strong drinks you can take them home and twist them between your fingers.
"hey I picked up this drunk barfly the other night at Joes Bar and Grille and I twisted her clamnecks all night long!"
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A gargantuan clamneck is male OR female fat as a elephant with no desire to reduce their girth, sometimes discovered when a hole gotta be cut in the side of the house for a doctor visit. Funny thing about a true gargantuan clamneck is that when the status has been reached they movement can be so limited that a facilitator is often required a'la MASTER BLASTER relationship...
holy shit my aunt Gerry was so fat she almost sunk da boat,
I think she's a freakin' gargantuan clamneck!
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