To deny accusations made against you, say it’s something everybody does and they’re going after you in a witch-hunt, and seek an apology. In some cases, blackmail is necessary for an apology.
“Who’s your hero Cartman?”
“Tom Brady.”
“And what does Tom Brady do after breaking the rules?”
“Deny and Subvert.”
“What would Tom Brady says if he was caught shop lifting?”
“Everybody shoplifts, why are you coming down on me?”