Doing the two-finger tango

Female manual masturbation.

She stared at the ceiling mirror, naked hips gyrating as her fingers worked her G-spot in time with the music. She was doing the two-finger tango.

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Do Gooder Two-Shoes

Someone who is both a Do gooder and a Goody Two-shoes at the same time.

So someone who always likes to appear like they're helping someone while also working hard to maintain a whiter-than-white morally superior image.

It's getting so tedious with Helen. Every time I speak to her she manages to allude to how earnest and woke she is. There’s always some virtue signalling in there and some humble brags or other comments that hint at what a good, moral and worthy person she is. She’s such a Do Gooder Two-shoes.

I can't do two things at once

A fact known to all men and universally discredited by women.

"The dog needs to go out, right away" she said, as he was balancing on the top of rung the ladder, not only changing the bulb but cradling the fragile glass globe. "And please take the towels out of the dryer, before they start to smell moldy."

"I can't do two things at once" he replied, but she could not hear him, polishing her nails, talking to her mother on the phone and finalizing the Etsy order for Kleenex box holders, reminding him... "I need you to tell me which of these patterns you prefer".

Do The Two

The act of taking a dump.

Johnny:Yo! I’m going to go Do The Two, BRB!
Ren: Ew! No need to be so graphic!