Doing a Roberts

Wandering aimlessly around the office, avoiding work and occasionally pretending to make a 'very important' phonecall

"Where is he? This report was supposed to be finished an hour ago!"
"He's was here a second ago - He must be doing a roberts"

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Doing A Robert

the act of 'doing a robert' consists of either having an irrational fear of bananas, being too scared to do simple rudimentary instructions or having a very small penis.

'ere look at him'
'I know right?'
'why is he running from a banana?'
'ah, he must be doing a robert!'

Doing a John Roberts

You are doing a John Roberts when you try to give both sides something to call a win.

Guy A: "What to do now? My daughter wants to visit Disneyland but my wifey complains it's too expensive for us to go there".
Guy B: "Well, buy some Disney movie tickets and save money that way. Your daughter will be happy and your wifey won't complain anymore."
Guy A: "You want me doing a John Roberts, right?"
Guy B: "Yeah, that's a foolproof plan. Trust me!"
*Divorce triggering*