Doing a Morrison

A range of tactics for dodging your responsibilities, including (but not limited to): going missing when the going gets tough; passing the buck; and talking your way out of a tight spot with an empty promise.

Australian slang. Inspired by Australia’s 30th Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

(NOTE: ‘Doing a Morrison’ is not to be confused with ‘Getting Morrisoned’, which usually involves you losing either your pre-selection (see Michael Towke), your job (see Christine Holgate), or your credit for a job well done (see nearly everyone else).)

Crew member 1: “The ship’s taking on water. We’re sinking. Where the bloody hell’s the captain?”
Crew member 2: “Oh, he’s already done a Morrison and racked off in a lifeboat.”

Barry: “How did you get your creditors off your back.”
Bruce: “Too easy. I told them the, ah, cheque was in the mail. Did a total Morrison.”

Delia: “Did you eat the last Tim Tam?”
Nev (wiping chocolate from his lips): “No. It must have been… the other guy.”
Delia: “What other guy? You’re doing a Morrison, aren’t you?”

“Yeah mate, it was piss easy, I just did a Morrison. Promised I’d always love her and she believed it and gave me the money.”

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Do a Morrison

Slang term in relation to doing something, especially on Climate Change. It means you have no intention of doing anything at all and will go to laughable or insane extremes to cover up your laziness. Also related to Laggard and Malingerer.

Clean up your room, and don't Do a Morrison!