Fatgreekangryitis

A pandemic virus affecting women hailing from across much of the central and eastern Mediterranean. Carriers of the virus will often transfuse it to other women with whom they come into close contact. Sufferers often experience rapid, uncontrollable swelling of the thighs and waist, causing an irreversible change in demeanor. No cure is known to exist, however studies have proven that the afflicted can be tempted away from major population centers by laying a trail of kebabs leading outwards.

Dude, I think my wife contracted fatgreekangryitis on our honeymoon in Mykonos. She had to check her garlic breathing ass in with the luggage on the flight back!