Finny-pack

Noun. Describing a Fanny-pack or bum-bag style item, usually worn by a large or inanimate object. Slightly uncooler than the retro Fanny-pack fashions of the early 1990's, the Finny-pack is more of an object of ridicule.

No, don't be silly. Clearly that is a finny-pack.... he's blocking the sun for god's sake!