fistivities

1. A period of self-pleasure, masturbation, or sexual practice involving ones hand that lasts over the Christmas period. Usually performed by men who hate christmas, and their wives.

2. Shaking your curled fist at a motorist, swearing, and questioning their sexual preference, over the Christmas period. Can also be told to Police Officers.

1. 'After the christmas fistivities, my arm is four times bigger.'

2. 'But Officer, I was just giving him the Christmas Fistivities.'

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fistivities

A feast, holiday, celebration, weekend or evening out that leaves you physically, emotionally, financially, morally and spiritually wrecked.

I am feeling terrible after last weekend's fistivities

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fistival

The unlikely event of joyous consensual fisting between two adults

Bruce: let's go back to my bungalow for a fistival the likes of which haven't been seen since Liberace went to Morrocco.
Andreas: I'll bring the lard

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fistivities

Gala sporting-events involving the performers' punching each other.

I've never liked the idea of physical-violence-type contact-sports like boxing, so I never attend said fistivities.