Flipperz

A seafood restaurant that loses its magic the further you move inland. As you move toward the geographic center of the continental United States, you will be prompted by a sign on the side of a dubious brick compound to 'bang on window with spoon for service.'

Once the eurasian bandit working the window has taken your order, he'll either emerge with a bag full of mercury poisoning or a fistful of barbiturates, depending on what keywords or phrases you may have unwittingly uttered.

I went to Flipperz and hardly even felt the induced sense of impending doom that comes with eating tainted flesh! It barely tasted like oil spill at all!