GMAT

1) noun: prerequisite examination for MBA programs, constructed by formerly tortured high school nerds as a way to bitch slap formerly popular jocks and student government (presently college students with Greek affiliations aka sorority sluts and frat boys) later in life. Causes retinal bleeding, brain aneurysms, and wrist slitting behavior. Requires $250 fee and advanced scheduling. Depletes social life; causes anxiety, irritability, and loss of libido. Often taken in multiple dosages to ensure suicidal temptation.

2) noun: intelligence comparison tool for young business professionals.

1) "Hey, wanna hook up on Valentine's day?"
"Sorry, I've got a hot date with my GMAT book. I'll be killing myself shortly after it cums and I clean up the paper skeet."

2) One business professional to another, during an after hours social networking event: "What was your GMAT score? I got a 750!"
"A lady never reveals her age, weight or GMAT score."

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GMAT

This is a computerized test used by business graduate programs to rank applicants in terms of intellectual aptitude. It covers a simple set of material, mainly high school math and English. One unique and notable type of question found on the GMAT is known as "data sufficiency," where you are tasked with determining whether you have enough information to answer a math question.

Test prep is not really worth spending thousands on, as one generally sees marginal gains on a test such as this. Those who score poorly constantly moan about it being "stupid", "racist", or "useless," while those who score highly on it generally never fail to find an opportunity to brag about their scores to their friends at HBS or Wharton.

It is also obsessed over by large number of Indians, who feel like their knowledge of basic math tricks makes them qualified to lead F500 firms.

A: I got a 780 on the GMAT after 3 months of studying, with a perfect quantitative score.

Stupid person: Cuh, what do prime numbers have to do with business? Bitch ass honkiez and dey stupid tests.

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