A collection of tastefully curated, yet tantalizing, German pornography websites (you know, the ones that'd make 50 Shades seem G rated in comparison).
Man, at doctor's office, visibly upset: "Aaugh! Mein schwanz ist kaput!"
Doctor, in sardonic tone: "Well, ya know, there just might be a correlation between 40 years of death grip masturbation and penile nerve damage. I'll write an ambulatory referral to a urologist, I think we may need to resort to surgical solutions."
Man: "Nah, my insurance sucks. I'll make it work... to the Geunternet!!!" *fap, fap*
Doctor: "Sir, this is not an Arby's. Please put your pants back on and go to an actual Arby's to rub one out in a bathroom stall."