Gorilla Muff

A variety of the Power Muff, the Gorilla muff is the fullest of all female bushes. Not only does it cover all aspects of a woman’s lower erogenous zones, it grows downwards to cover the upper thighs, upwards to cover the stomach, and loops around the bottom to cover a portion of the ass. It is extremely burdensome to maintain and often comes full of dingleberries, turds of varying size, dried discharge and stale urine. Unlike the Powder Room Muff, wet wipes are insufficient with regard to cleaning up the fallout of anything go in or out of it. Keeping it clean requires bathing (not showering) in two separately drawn baths following any toileting, menstrual or sexual activity. Its owners largely belong to fundamental religious sects who know little about the grooming requirements for sex play in the modern world. However, it is apparently quite repellant to male members of these groups, who often replace these hair bearers with younger wives with less cumbersome bushes (see Upper Puff, Powder Room Muff). On the contrary, some sexual deviants who are marginalized by mainstream society revere the Gorilla Muff as the Bush of all Bush. These pervs love to lose themselves in the fecal-infested, piss-stained, dinglenapped bush that is the Gorilla Muff.

Vanessa might put out. But that trick carries more turds in her Gorilla Muff than a dirty litter box.

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