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Green Bitch

Green Bitches can be any age and any gender. Most Green Bitches are teens. Most Green Bitches are boys.

The “Green” in Green Bitch has dual meanings, “Green” referring to Green Day. And “Green” referring to immature, ignorant and inexperienced.

Green Bitches are a special kind of poser. They are really chavs and rednecks in disguise and probably future klansmen too. They want to pretend to be punk today because Green Day is popular now. Chances are they were in diapers when Longview came out. And their mom quite possibly might have been in diapers when Rock n Roll High School came out. But age is NOT a barrier to being punk. Intolerance, ignorance, not even knowing what punk is while pretending to be punk will all make a person a Green Bitch.

The vast ignorance of Green Bitches is revealed just by listening to them talk. They will say ignorant things, for example, like how they hate Gerard Way or Davey Havok (neither of which are exactly punk in my book but they BOTH KICK ASS!!!) hate them because they think Gerard and Davey look or act gay. At the same The Green Bitch usually professes their love for Green Day. When you tell a Green Bitch about Billie Joe Armstrong’s professed sexual history and his dislike for ‘phobes and haters', the Green Bitch never believes you and never admits that he doesn’t know anything about punk. The Green Bitch is trying to be popular, not punk and Green Bitches don’t know the difference.

More things you will observe about Green Bitches: Between The Queers and The Pansy Division, Green Bitches don’t know who was actually gay, who gave themselves a “gay” name way back in 1982 just piss people off (now that’s punk), who toured with and was once on the same label as Green Day, or which band it was that Billie Joe interrupted their set so he could tell the crowd that they were pathetic for hating. Green Bitches don’t even know that The Queers and The Pansy Division exist. Green Bitches don’t know that The Ramones did not do guitar solos or even that The Ramones were born out of rebellion to 10th generation Led Zeppelin and exasperating egomaniacal guitar solos. They usually also hate certain music and call it Emo because they say it’s gay. But Green Bitches are just jealous because their 14yr old female counterparts are in love with Jared Leto, Gerard Way, and Pete Wentz.

Green Bitch chav poser to real punk fan: Modern bands suck. I wish more bands were like Green Day because Billie Joe Armstrong kicks ass. I hate Emo, it’s so gay. I wish more bands today were like The Ramones and had some decent guitar solos.

Real punk fan to Green Bitch: WTF!! You are free to like whoever you want but your logic proves that you are a Green Bitch!! You have never even read the liner notes on any one of the many and various Ramones collections. If you had you would know how ignorant you sound right now. And if you knew anything about Billie Joe Armstrong, you would know how much you are NOT imitating him either.

by That Teenage Lobotomy they on me backfired! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!! March 8, 2007

21👍 22👎


long stemmy green bitches

Celery

Do you have any of those long stemmy green bitches? I want to make a snack.

by veggieman November 6, 2012


green tea bitch

Green tea bitch refers to a woman who presents herself as innocent, sweet, and kind in order to approach guys who she finds useful, potentially in the sense of money, power, or purely fulfilling. (This is the green tea part). Yet this woman is actually calculating and all her good qualities are fake merely in order to appeal the guy. This woman uses many methods to achieve her goal, usually involves lying and being immoral. (the bitch part)

This strongly implies that this woman wants to intervene and destroy an existing relationship.

A typical example would be when a woman sends more-than-usual comfort and care to a guy who is in a relationship and then later shows him that he means a lot to her. And then this woman will try to reveal the existence of herself to the girlfriend/wife of this guy. When the gf/wife gets made, she will say things like "I am very sorry and did not mean to make your life like this" and the wife/gf is usually mad. Guys, who (stupidly) have the instinct of protecting the weak one, will usually start to fight the wife/gf and argue they are just friends. Then, with the great comfort and constant postive feedback provided by the green tea bitch and the ongoing madness with the gf/wife, the guy will typically break up with the original gf/wife and likely to start a relationship with this green tea bitch who appears to be very sweet, nice, and supportive, without being aware that this whole plot is directed by this green tea bitch.

"This girl called Rebecca is sending my husband her naked pictures and she was so 'hurt' after I forced my husband to break with her. And now she is visiting my husband in Boston this May."
"Oh, what a green tea bitch".

by BlueElf March 8, 2016

317👍 8👎


green tea bitch

An internet slang used to describe a young woman that likes to dress and act in a certain fashion in order to portray herself as pure and innocent (ie: like green tea). However, in reality she is a gold-digging slut that won't think twice before she sells her own body or steps on someone's throat to get to a higher place (aka a bitch). First popularized by Chinese netizens when a whole bunch of female models and actresses were revealed to be paid escorts/prostitutes for the rich and powerful during a fashion expo in 2013.

You know that Anne that always acted like she was a lonely 12 year old? She slept with her professor to get an A+. What a green tea bitch!

by M3SS3NG3R March 31, 2014

348👍 35👎


Green Tea Bitch

A trope female character type popularized in Chinese internet novels, a Green Tea Bitch is a female character who appears calm, kind, innocent, or charming on the surface, but is actually intelligent, cunning, and calculating underneath, usually for the purposes of manipulating others into giving them gain.

Some common traits include:
Revenge as a primary motive for the manipulative behavior
Often uses their skill to win over difficult or villainous characters
Presenting themselves as wronged in order to garner sympathy, or purposefully allowing their enemies to harm them, in order to make the enemy lose ground
An ability to flip arguments and intelligently talk their way out of accusations or repercussions
Usually the main character
Often has special or secret knowledge (such as in an isekai or rebirth novel), or else has a very high EQ allowing her to read people.
Common for 'villainess-turned-good' characters
If she has/had a job, it is most commonly as an actress

Usually written to be likable to readers

Related to the White Lotus Flower/White Lotus Bitch, which is a similar female character type, in that an innocent face is presented to the world while hiding bad intentions. The distinguishing trait between the two tends to be the level of intelligent calculation, with Green Tea Bitches seen as the more smart and scheming of the two.

Feilu knew the answer to the puzzle, but pretended not to know, asking guiding questions until Nianxi thought she solved it herself. Delighted with her smart and helpful little sister, Nianxi decided to ask the Emperor to allow Feilu to attend the royal academy. "That's our green tea bitch!"-a reader in the comments.

by askite January 23, 2021

31👍 2👎


Green tea bitch

1) A bitch who pretends to be your friend but talks shit behind your back.

2) A bitch who is your “friend” but she talks to your crush and flirts with him, even if she knows that he’s your crush.
The secret way to call her is GTB.

-She is flirting with my crush
-But does she know that he’s your crush tho?
-yeah, she’s a green tea bitch

by Dsfmaidao April 18, 2019

25👍 8👎


Bitch Green

A faulty traffic light that turns green and then turns yellow literally 2 seconds later, and then wastes a good 3 to 4 minutes before it turns green again.

Me: "Okay, if I make this light I'll be home free before anyone notices I snuck out."

Traffic light turns green, one cars passes, then turns yellow.

Me: "DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! The traffic light's doing a bitch green! Imma be stuck in traffic for hours!!!!!!"

by FireFlower9179 November 24, 2011

5👍 1👎